i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
There's a guy in here whose face looks like it would be perfect between my legs.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
