I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
He stopped replying so I told him I got tested and it came back positive for chlamydia to see if he replied. His phone magically works again!
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
stop fucking thinking about him when there is A MILLION OTHER PENISES TO RIDE IN THE WORLD
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Your penis caused this!
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
