found out the liquor store price matches. thus begins senior year of college
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
He kept insisting that I was going to have an orgasm but it just felt like he was rubbing sand paper on my vagina
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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