I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
