I bet he comes in French.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
Just made a makeshift menthol by rolling a listerine strip into a regular cigarette... Poor? Who, me?
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I don’t know if I’m nauseous or just disgusted with myself.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
