i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
I have their Unicorn picture in my shirt, and I just threw a Bud Light Platinum bottle through their window. We need to go now.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
