That chode just called off the engagement. I just dropped his toothbrush in the toilet. And I’ve forgotten to take my birth control for the past two weeks. He’s fucked!
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
So, I think my BF has slept with several of our sorority sisters
Well, now that you know, yes he has. We didn’t say anything because you seemed so happy. He’s a great guy and none of us have any hard feelings, but yeah, we’re all very familiar with his penis and it’s talents
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