Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Dan just whipped out his wang to piss in a milk jug! Hello weekend.
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Not a clue. But I did find out that his penis has a British accent.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
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