There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
she called me a fuckfaceshitdick. not that's creative. it sounds like a crayola crayon, preferrably an orange-brown shade.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My fake id got more birthday sex than I've had in my life.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
