Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
Nothing gets you judged faster than having cum in your hair at the gas station.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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