New invention idea: vibrating tampons
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
His shopping cart was nothing but malt liquor and zucchini.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
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