tonights recap: old cokehead freind proposed in the middle of a country bar to his trash girlfriend, saw ex-fuck who now has star shaved into his head and another with his gf, and ex-bfs best friends crackin jokes about who would fuck me first. NEVER COMING HOME AGAIN
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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