just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
