Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
You are in charge of making sure that her vagina explodes with joy tonight.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
I've been ignoring his texts cause last night I put him in my phone as 'ignore for atleast a day' and I trust my drunk self.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
This inappropriate post strip club text brought to you by Cheetah of Palm Beach and vodka. Blowjob in the champagne room and the clap for the low low price of your paycheck.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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