what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
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