he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
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