Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
bitch, i have a flask. i've got things under control.
god. marry me.
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