You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
you owe me at least a beer for the services my girlfriend just provided for you
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Who would you rather hang with tonight, drunk me or high me?
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
TSA doesn’t allow handcuffs in carryon bags. Super fun they confiscated them in front of my boss and coworker.
Randomize
