Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
We went rollerblading down high street singing "Free Falling"in ketchup and mustard costumes. A car full of guys drove by and yelled out their window "Need a hot dog with that?!" Naturally, we woke up at their apartment.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
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