just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Just took 4 secret shots in his bathroom to not remember him naked.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
uh, 3 redbulls and 400mg of caffeine pills and i still feel like life is in slowmotion..lets not take tranquilizers again.
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Randomize
