You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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