So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
There's puke on my pillow. I'm still wearing my wedges. And I have a cab drivers number clutched in my fist.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
