Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I can't come. It's so cold my uterine walls have frozen together like a cherry popsicle.
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