May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Next test. Underwater blowjob. If you fail...out of water blow job
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Just think Febushuary. A whole month of 70's esque bush! This is the dream
so...the lady doing my pedi totally noticed the human bite marks on my calf. Who says marriage ends your sex life? Love u!
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Randomize
