So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
I mean come on, he's the best quarterback in the state and doesn't even know how to put on condom
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
Randomize
