I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
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