Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Oh no, we smoked the revival weed. It came in a Batman bag. It hit like justice. And orphans.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
Randomize
