sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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