dear life, i get it, drinking is not a contest
No more Irish car bombs ever.
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
Randomize
