be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
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