Grow some girl-balls and come out already
so jimmy johns showed up at our party last night. our house is sponsored now. living the dream.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
TACOBELL COOL RANCH TACOS MARCH 7TH. I think realistically that will be more like valentines day for us. Bc nothing says romance like tacobell.
Find a vagina and bring it to me. Like feeding a tiger.
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
She puked in the bed, peed in the closet, and woke up on a Rubbermaid in the closet under the stair case
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