My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
If that really is brett favre's penis, no wonder she ignored his calls
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Even her dad came up for the body shots. Wasn't sure what to do so I just laid there and let it happen...
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
I will pepper spray him so fast I don't even care
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
