That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i actually just woke up with a lampshade on my head. god damn cliches.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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