can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
You're alright. You just passed out while we were having sex. Then I'm pretty sure you peed. So I went home.
'go have sex with her' ddoes not count as wingman
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
i made this one couple from ohio so uncomfortable that they left....and that was WHEN I HAD PANTS ON
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
