I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
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