Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
as my niece was drinking milk out of a crown royal glass i realized i dont think i've ever bought a glass that didnt come with a bottle of liquor....
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
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