I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Randomize
