we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
We should drive around in your Jeep on snow days and get stoned while we help random strangers stuck in the snow. So much good karma.
But how do I turn off the feelings though?
Vodka.
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
