Ryan Reynolds porn could be a WMD. Have a giant TV on the front of your tank, and just drive around playing it. Everyone dies of orgasm overload.
That's it. Iraq is done. Everyone dies, game over man.
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
This kind of poor decision making requires a real cup, not a mason jar.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Getting cock-blocked by Jeff Bridges. NOT OKAY.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Randomize
