It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
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