All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
is that a dick in a sweater?
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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