If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
Randomize
