ugly people sure do ruin things
All my problems are solved. I just got McDonalds and scratch off lottery tickets.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
