Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
he drunkenly confessed to whacking off before coming over so the sex'd be longer. this one's a keeper
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Randomize
