Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
Lives are in shambles. Livers are in disrepair. Our friend was missing for 2 days. His brother slept in a porta potty. God damn you college world series
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Randomize
