Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
sex in a hospital.. check
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Randomize
