clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
