There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
Randomize
