Ambien. No doubt about it.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
Does this mean I don't have to apologize for launching about 20 bead necklaces at you from the balcony?
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
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