Having a random hookup so left but love u
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
im holly from the hills drunk
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
Randomize
