You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Putting the night light in my bathroom cabinet was the best idea ever. Awesome for puking while light sensitive
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
I will seriously deflate and melt into the floor into a puddle of devestation, shame and vodka.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Randomize
