Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
